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<p>NEW MAKE TIME UNDERSTAND LEARN TO FOR YOURSELF THE BRAIN BE PRESENT TEEN EMBRACE THE Inside REAL YOU COPE WITH BODY IMAGE AND MASTER MINDFUL EXERCISES YOUR EMOTIONS THAT WILL HELP YOU TO CLEAR YOUR MIND OVERCOME YOUR DEMONS BE POSITIVE USE MINDFULNESS TO DEAL WITH ANXIETY LEARN TO BELIEVE AND DEPRESSION IN YOURSELF Plus FITNESS NUTRITION happy mind EXAM REVISION happy MEDITATION life RELATIONSHIPS LEARN TO DEAL WITH EVERYDAY STRESSES AND LIVE LIFE FULLY</p><p>WELCOME TO Mindfulness hether you are a teen looking for mindful practices to help W you cope with the everyday, or a parent looking for advice and guidance into mindfulness for a teenager in need, Teen Mindfulness has something for you. Being a teenager can be tough at the best of times, but when you add in the pressures of exams, big life-changing decisions and the stress of trying to find your place in the world, it can be overwhelming. The challenges you face in your teenage years can shape who you are for the rest of your life, and learning mindful coping techniques early will make all the difference. This book contains both interactive mindful exercises and advice covering topics that include; body positivity, depression, bullying, relationships, pressure and exam revision. Embrace self belief, gain confidence and process emotions effectively. Learn how to deal with change and how to talk about tough subjects. Most importantly, use the advice in this book to live and enjoy life to the fullest. Rebecca Greig Editor</p><p>L FUTURE 7</p><p>TEEN Mindfulness Future PLC Quay House, The Ambury, Bath, 1UA Editorial Editor Rebecca Greig Designer Briony Duguid Compiled by Dan Peel & Adam Markiewicz Head of Art & Design Greg Whitaker Editorial Director Jon White Managing Director Grainne McKenna Contributors Olly Tew, Mirela Nikolova, Sarah Niven, Katherine Bebo, Katy Stokes, Natalie Denton, Edoardo Albert, Beate Sonerud, Clement Mackay Cover images Illustration by Katy Stokes Photography All copyrights and trademarks are recognised and respected Advertising Media packs are available on request Commercial Director Clare Dove International Head of Print Licensing Rachel Shaw licensing@futurenet.com www.futurecontenthub.com Circulation Head of Newstrade Tim Mathers Production Head of Production Mark Constance Production Project Manager Matthew Eglinton Advertising Production Manager Joanne Crosby Digital Editions Controller Jason Hudson Production Managers Keely Miller, Nola Cokely, Vivienne Calvert, Fran Twentyman Printed in the UK Distributed by Marketforce, 5 Churchill Place, Canary Wharf, London, E14 5HU www.marketforce.co.uk- For enquiries, please email: Teen Mindfulness Eighth Edition (LBZ5823) 2024 Future Publishing Limited We are committed to only using magazine paper which is derived from responsibly managed, certified forestry and chlorine-free The paper in this bookazine was sourced and produced from sustainable managed forests, conforming to strict environmental and socioeconomic standards. All contents 2024 Future Publishing Limited or published under licence. All rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be used, stored, transmitted or reproduced in any way without the prior written permission of the publisher. Future Publishing Limited (company number 2008885) is registered in England and Registered office: Quay House, The Ambury, Bath 1UA. All information contained in this publication is for information only and is as far as we are aware, correct at the time of going to press. Future cannot accept any responsibility for errors or inaccuracies in such You are advised to contact manufacturers and retailers directly with regard to the price of products/services referred to in this publication. Apps and websites mentioned in this publication are not under our We are not responsible for their contents or any other changes or updates to them. This magazine is fully independent and not affiliated in any way with the companies mentioned herein. FUTURE Connectors. Creators. Experience Makers Future plc public Chief Executive Officer Jon Steinberg company quoted on the Non-Executive Chairman Richard Huntingford London Stock Exchange Chief Financial and Strategy Officer Penny Ladkin-Brand (symbol: FUTR) www.futurepic.com Tel +44 (0)1225 442 244 ipso. For press freedom with responsibility Widely Recycled</p><p>106 66 36 CONTENTS 08 What is mindfulness 48 Build your bully barrier 12 How does the brain even work 52 Living without constant phone use 14 Mindful thinking: "Who am I?" 58 Mindful colouring 20 The I am Poem 66 How to say difficult things 22 Your body, your self 72 Work/life balance and 28 Affirmations to live by mindfulness 30 What even is anxiety 78 Shower thoughts and depression 80 Real-life clutter 36 An emotional boiler 84 Night, night, sleep tight 44 The stress canister 88 Dealing with pressure about 46 Changing your thoughts the future 47 Recognise the good stuff 96 A guide to mindful revision 100 Constant distractions</p><p>30 07 84 48 101 Live your dreams 102 When the going gets rough 106 Eat well, move more 114 112 Essential yoga poses for beginners 114 5 top tips to start running 116 Gratitude and wellbeing 120 Living in the moment 124 The power of words 125 True reflection 126 Breathe and meditate your way to mindfulness 130 Legacy</p><p>GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK Finding that your mind likes to wander is perfectly normal, that's why we practice! 08</p><p>WHAT IS I MINDFULNESS Why knowing about mindfulness can help you tackle the problems life gives you THE PRESSURE OF BEING you're going to be when you become an A TEENAGER adult; what you'll do, where you'll live, Being a teenager can be one of the what kind of life you want to build? 09 hardest times of your life. What can make it worse is hearing adults, particularly the HOW MINDFULNESS older generations, telling you how much CAN HELP easier it is for you right now compared The truth is that mindful thinking is a to when they were younger. Life as a tool. It can help when it's used in the teenager can be described as an unfair right way, and generally some practice contradiction. You are expected to hold will be needed before you feel it is of the responsibility of an adult in many real value. Tools are also only really ways (chores, visiting/caring for relatives, useful when you have a specific task low paid jobs, exam performance), or problem to achieve and teenage life without having the opportunity to choose (either fortunately or unfortunately) is full these things for yourself, with no more of problems demanding your attention. agency than when you were a child. Being a teenager has one major upside The world can feel like it has been - it helps prepare you for your life as deliberately designed to make you feel an adult. As a general rule, the easier stressed. It's not just school-work, family people find their teenage years, whether responsibilities and your social life you because of privilege or circumstance, the need to worry about. Our society also bigger the shock is when they are faced makes it clear you need to be up to date with a real challenge that they are not with culture, news events (from politics prepared for as an adult. Mindful thinking to the environment) current technology, is a tool to help you stay calm and in the and an increasing number of social moment, to prioritise your goals without media platforms. On top of all of these external emotions, and make plans for concerns, you also need to start making how to take on each new challenge as the decisions about what kind of person it comes. "MINDFUL THINKING IS A TOOL. IT CAN HELP WHEN IT'S USED in THE RIGHT WAY, AND PRACTICE WILL BE NEEDED"</p><p>10 HELPFUL THINGS TO know MINDFULNESS IS ACTIVE MEDITATION Mindfulness is one of many KEEPING YOURSELF types of meditation. It is a FOCUSED on WHAT form of controlling the free- MATTERS TO YOU flowing stream of conscious It is so easy to allow your thought, thereby allowing mind to wander, especially you to think in new ways when you're supposed that you aren't used to. It to be doing something can be used to approach important. Approaching it any situation with fresh mindfully, with conscious eyes and a clear mind. control, allows you to not stray from the task you're attempting, while also not judging yourself for A NEW WAY OF losing focus. THINKING GENERATES NEW IDEAS Because emotional states have an influence on our thinking, abandoning those HAVE FEWER ARGUMENTS states allows us to think more clearly, to consider new ideas If you can look at a situation without your own and approaches that we would emotional state, you will be much closer to never do normally. Being understanding what other people say. This can practiced in mindful thinking feel very challenging when you're a teenager, and truly allows you to look at the talking with other people will be more enriching world from a new perspective. when you can see it more from their perspective. BE KINDER TO YOURSELF We could all be a little kinder to ourselves, and never more so than when becoming adults. It's easy to take negative views we think others have and attach them to ourselves. This isn't healthy, but no one has shown you how to stop. Fortunately, mindfulness can help you, even just a little, be a bit more forgiving and kinder to yourself.</p><p>THOUGHTS CONTROLLED BY OUR FEELINGS AND VICE VERSA Staying with the above example, if we are used to thinking "I am not a clever person", it is no wonder that when someone mentions something cool BELIEVE in we would like to know more about, YOURSELF we may feel sad, angry or ashamed that we don't already know it. Suddenly you're in a bad mood, and unless you've been paying attention, you don't even know why! YOU CAN DO IT ALMOST ANYWHERE Once you are used to thinking mindfully, there is no reason to stop! It can be done almost anywhere, during almost any task. You don't need to have your eyes closed, or be sitting in the lotus position. You just view 11 the world through eyes that are neutral, and examining the thoughts that appear naturally. WHO HAS AN OPEN PRESS PAUSE on YOUR THOUGHT TRAIN PEOPLE Thinking, like catching a ball, is A quality that most adults something we can do automatically don't have is an open without really "thinking about it". This mind, however much they means that unhealthy thoughts like "I am might say To examine not a clever person" can arise without a situation from another our considering about why we have person's position can be thought that, or even whether it is true. It hard, but doing from a allows us to "press pause" on the stream neutral position is much of thought, and examine them from a easier. Your mind will be neutral position, without judgement. much closer to "open" when you are able to think about why you perceive the world in the way you do. Many people will simply never try. DISMISSING UNTRUE THOUGHTS If we consider these feelings while in a state of mindfulness, we either dismiss the thought, knowing it isn't true, or question why it appeared. We can think about what we want to do to address the root of the conflict (e.g., do some research on the subject in question, or even find someone to tell us).</p><p>HOW DOES THE BRAIN EVEN WORK? Brains are very complicated, teenage brains more than any other he human brain is probably T the most complicated thing in the universe. What doesn't make it easier is that it changes as you grow, and the person you are changes along with 12 it! The brain is made almost entirely of neurones which transmit electrical messages from one part to another. By doing this, everything you see, feel, taste, touch, think, want or smell is known to your conscious mind. The number of connections in your brain are into the hundreds of trillions, and every person's brain is wired differently! It is the best demonstration that an individual is truly unique. And during adolescence, the way you think and feel starts to change dramatically. "THE WAY TEMPORAL LOBE Long-term memory storage YOU THINK The temporal lobe contains the hippocampus, and is responsible for holding your memories. AND FEEL It is also important in spatial navigation (such as mentally planning a route around your house for example). STARTS TO CHANGE" CEREBELLUM Balance and speech The cerebellum receives information from the sensory parts of the brain and helps control how the body responds, such as balancing or speaking, making speech and movement smoother.</p><p>FRONTAL LOBE THE CONTROL PANEL This part of the brain is where most of our thinking happens: emotions, short term memory, problem solving, communication, movement, MOTOR CORTEX and motivation. Scientists believe it is where our Moving about "conscious mind" can be said to physically exist. Part of the frontal lobe, the motor cortex is the part of the brain that controls our body's movement, such as walking, writing, performing any tasks with our limbs. SENSORY CORTEX The feeling part of your brain Another part of the frontal lobe, this is where a lot of your senses are based. If you get a paper cut, or someone takes you by the hand, the sensory cortex is the part of your brain that lights up. 13 PARIETAL LOBE How you react to the world Halfway between the motor and sensory cortices and the occipital lobe (vision processing) the parietal lobe is where a lot of processing between those information sources happens. It helps you navigate your body within the world. OCCIPITAL LOBE The eyes of the mind This is the part of the brain where visual information is directly processed. Interestingly, the information from the right eye will end up processed upside down and on the left side of the brain.</p><p>14 am "Who am 1?" is the question that has troubled people for centuries. For you, it starts being asked now</p><p>nowing the parts of yourself sexuality, feelings you have towards K that will form your core who you may or may not be attracted "YOU can be difficult; especially to can be loaded by the expectations if you don't see those of If those feelings don't aspects reflected in the conform, then you may feel anxious MAY FEEL world around you. If the way you feel or even isolated. Even if those about your sexuality, gender identity feelings do conform to the changing or even your fundamental values of society, the people you ANXIOUS OR principles do not feel are attracted to may not as if they fit into the feel the same way. You society around you, may even feel that you you may feel isolated, IT ISN'T BLACK are not attracted to or perhaps even AND WHITE anyone you've met in a your eye colour, your height or somehow wrong or Most personality sexual way at all, which anything else that you are unable for feeling attributes aren't binary; can feel confusing if to this way. most they are on a scale. everyone else appears Looking at your sexuality or any people don't mention to have those feelings. other aspect of 'who you are with 15 is that any aspect of In reality, there is only a mindful perspective can help you who you are is almost one person that sexuality to answer these questions without guaranteed to change at least should matter to: you. Ideally, a strong emotional response to a little bit (probably a lot) over the your sexuality should cause neither the answer. If the rest of the world course of your life. negative nor positive emotions, doesn't agree with your answer, Practiced use of mindful thinking because as long as you are at peace remember that the only person your can help us to navigate this identity with it within your identity, it should sexuality, or any other part of you, crisis. To take the example of require no more consideration than should really matter to is you.</p><p>STARTING TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION easy for someone to "don't about answering these questions harder for you to do! THE STRESS OF NOT people telling you KNOWING WHO YOU ARE that something you 16 You as a person are made up of many feel is wrong, and different aspects. Some of these that could be as simple facets are based on your genetics as liking a particular (such as height, eye colour and skin movie, or it may be who colour), and some may be influenced you find yourself loving. by your upbringing. Many people of a There is no way you can please strongly political nature, for example, everyone, the answer about who develop those views either alongside you are must be a concern you only. or directly opposing the views of their is a simple philosophy, say if they knew you were considering family members. Your sexuality, gender but practising it is another matter this question. What feels most like identity and psychological outlook (such Fortunately, it can be made easier with your true position? What makes you as whether you are more introverted mindful thinking. feel comfortable? What decision or extroverted) are also influenced Take any aspect that is enables you to live your life in by both your genetic heritage and worrying you, perhaps a way that is right for you? your upbringing, and the fact that gender or political Remember also that you are neither influence is entirely clear can outlook, or even the LOOK quite likely your own worst make discovering who you are' rather basic idea of settling AROUND YOU critic, and it's possible stressful. What makes it worse is down and starting A huge amount of art and to be far too harsh on literature in some way that if you do feel a sense of identity a family. Begin by relates to this question of yourself. That is why regarding any of these aspects, they focusing on your who are you? exploring these questions probably don't line up with what breathing, and then let from a mindful perspective you see in society, even where they are the question bob to the is crucial - because you can represented. that is finding a top of your Identify any identify the critical thoughts relatable conservative political rogue emotional thoughts, and let before they take hold, and banish or seeing an alternative to normalised them go. Explore the options, without them. The core answer should feel right sexuality or gender. expression, if you considering the society around you. for you, not because it feels good, but can't see something that you mostly Ignore what you think your family would simply because it feels true. identify with, you will question whether that aspect is true for you. TACKLE THESE QUESTIONS "WHAT FEELS MOST USING MINDFUL THINKING AND STRESS These questions are very important, but LIKE YOUR TRUE the answer only matters to one person: you. Other people will not always agree with you, whether that is how you POSITION? WHAT MAKES behave, or choose to express yourself, or what you think. For the rest of your YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE?" life, you will undoubtedly experience</p><p>WHO AM 12 Take a moment to think about who you are. Forget about how others might see you or make judgements about you. Simply write for yourself and don't be embarrassed or self conscious about what you write down. I AM I LIKE I AM ATTRACTED TO I THINK THE THING THAT MOST DEFINES ME IS I BELIEVE I WANT WISH I AM REALLY GOOD AT my BIGGEST WEAKNESS IS I LOVE I HATE I WANT TO CHANGE</p><p>18 THE CHANGING BODY Your body changing can sometimes feel like it is controlling you rather than the other way around One thing you'll probably notice about feelings, perhaps over things you don't being a teenager is that your body expect, or in social situations that feel isn't completely used to. the changes embarrassing. This can be unsettling CHALLENGE brought on by puberty. In fact, as anything happening beyond the changes in your brain your control can be. The most don't completely settle in unsettling thing is that YOUR INNER most people until their TRY TO beyond your. control and mid-20s, which can STAY POSITIVE also happening because of be longer than you're your body. CRITIC Changes in your body expecting. Your body can be scary, but remind A mindful approach changes in more ways yourself this is a positive can be one of the best rite of passage Occasionally people will judge you, than can be mentioned into adulthood. tools you have. By taking but there's no need for your brain to here, and most of these that step back from join in. You should always try to have changes are brought you're feeling (and remember, your own back. Take a mindful state, about because of chemicals practice is needed to do this well) and let go of any self released in the body. This means your and being able to examine why you're thoughts, particularly if they are full of emotions can be making you feeling it, it is easier to process these negative feelings. prone to mood swings and intense emotions: If you're feeling awkward,</p><p>"UN-FOCUS FROM THE WORLD, INSTEAD THINK ABOUT YOUR BREATHING" embarrassed and on the verge of tears while at school, the easiest thing to do is to ride that emotional wave even if it means a private release of emotions - sometimes letting your tears surface can be a cleansing and mindful Fortunately, this isn't the only way. Take the moment when no one is talking to you to from the world, and instead think about your breathing. Then, when your mind feels more settled, allow one of the emotions to drift towards you. Acknowledge what 19 it is, without being engulfed by it. If you are feeling stable, perhaps consider why you are feeling it, reminding yourself of the context - your brain is you're in a stressful situation, and your body is full of new chemical levels that are creating If, after all that, you still feel a need to blame yourself, simply let the emotion - and any blame attached - go. You can process it later, when you're at home, or somewhere more peaceful. Refocus on your breathing. You've acknowledged, perhaps even examined, that emotional state, and you know why it is strong. Now, you've also let it go. It doesn't need to be a part of you, or control any. part of you right now. This can be a very hard trick to because your brain is used to being swept away by the emotional wave, and you're currently trying to change course. Don't be dispirited if it takes practice. Even by practicing, you're acknowledging to yourself that you want to be in control, and that's the most important first step. PRACTISE TALKING The good thing about puberty is most important to say, and to that all adults have gone through whom you really want to say it. it, and probably already know Practise how your side of the what you're going through. Take conversation may go, and see you are enough the time to think about what is what words feel right for you.</p><p>THE am POEM Take a mindful moment to think about yourself and fill in this poem. The 'I am' line should be the same throughout and should feature two positive and special characteristics about yourself. Read our example written by the Editor for inspiration, but make sure that you write completely about yourself in your one. / am caring and thoughtful / wonder what everyone is thinking hear the busy traffic see the cloudy sky / know that / am loved 20 / am caring and thoughtful / pretend that m always fine even when I'm not / feel unsettled about the future / want to achieve great things and make others proud / worry a lot about relationships cry at night when m alone / am caring and thoughtful / understand that / need to work hard / always overthink / dream about my future try to make others happy / hope the important people in my life know the real me / am caring and thoughtful can be honest with my friends / will learn to share my feelings better / believe that everyone should get to be themselves / love spending time with those special to me / have amazing friends am caring and thoughtful - by Rebecca</p><p>POSITIVE REPETITION Thinking positively is like getting in shape. It I AM takes persistence. Repeat affirmations that are important to you. I WONDER I HEAR SEE I I I PRETEND I FEEL 21 I I WORRY I CRY I AM I UNDERSTAND I ALWAYS I DREAM I TRY I HOPE I I CAN I WILL. BELIEVE I LOVE I HAVE I AM</p><p>YOUR BODY, 22 A mindful approach to body positivity he term body image is in A negative body image comes with T constant use. around us, but distorted perception of your body. That what does it mean and why is may cause you to have adverse feelings it emotionally loaded? towards yourself, such as shame or Our bodies affect nearly all anxiety about your appearance. This is aspects of our lives. You might think body far from uncommon: some psychologists image is purely about perception, or just think negative body image is now "the what you see in the mirror. The reality is for many people. On the other far from skin-deep. Body image is about hand however, a positive or healthy body what goes on in your mind when you image is about an accurate perception of see or when you your body. It your body. It enables you to feel satisfied includes how. you think about your body, with your appearance without concerns how you feel about it and how you behave or over-investment in your body's shape because of those thoughts and feelings. or size.</p><p>23</p><p>Having a negative body image can affect you very profoundly, not least because of how difficult it can "YOU, AND ONLY YOU, be to challenge. This is complex because to some extent, your own. SHOULD DETERMINE body image is formed without your conscious awareness. Your attitudes towards your body may be shaped WHAT THE RELATIONSHIP by the way other people speak about their bodies around you. Your feelings may be influenced by how bodies are BETWEEN YOUR BODY AND represented in art, culture and media. The way you behave towards your body may be a result of what you think is YOUR SELF LOOKS LIKE" the right way to behave. Many of these complex influences on body image are the relationship between your body On the other, you may judge yourself internalised. They often affect us from a and your 'self' looks like. But a healthy for struggling to be positive about your young age, before we have the ability, relationship with your own body cannot body, even though you know you should understanding or life experience to be conjured with a snap of your fingers. be. Mindfulness is about actively letting question and challenge them. Mindfulness can help you on the go of both kinds of judgement. It is not It is staggering that something journey towards building awareness and about ignoring negative thoughts and 24 as personal as your own sense of connecting with your body in a more or trying to block them. It is embodimenti can be strongly positive way. about becoming aware of when they influenced by external factors. This is The first step towards a mindful appear, acknowledging that they exist, where mindfulness can help. Mindfulness approach to body positivity is learning recognising them for what they are and is an incredibly powerful tool which you to be kind to yourself. Body image and letting them go. Mindfulness can can use to shift your view of your body judgement are very closely tangled, you take a step back from the habit away from the negative and towards the to the point where we judge ourselves of negativity and self-judgement and neutral and positive. The key message without even realising it. There are stop you from plunging into a whirlwind of the body positivity movement is also two sides to that judgement coin. of self-criticism. You can then seek to that you have permission to be in On one hand, you may judge your challenge negativity in multiple ways charge of your own body image. You, body harshly because your physical and actively focus on building positivity and only you, should determine what appearance is not what you aspire to. about yourself, Mindfulness can also help you become more connected with your body. For example, by focusing your attention on physical sensations, such as your heartbeat and your breathing, you can shift your awareness to how you actually experience your body. You can learn to read the signals your body is sending you: that it's comfortable, healthy, content and happy. You can wake up to the sights, sounds, smells and tastes of the present moment and enjoy all the remarkable things in the world around you that your body allows you to experience. Through mindfulness you can mould the relationship between your body and your Self into something that you enjoy. Being connected to your body opens up new levels of appreciation for everything it does and feels. Your body is not valuable because of how closely it corresponds to the current beauty ideal. It is not valuable because of the numbers on a weighing scale or label. It is valuable because it is the home of your Self. The care you put into your relationship with your body is care for the Self.</p><p>BE BODY Positive Tips to help you on a mindful journey to body positivity LISTEN TO YOUR BODY DON'T FALL FOR LEARN TO LOVE Your body is constantly BEAUTIFUL ILLUSIONS WHAT YOU HATE sending you signals about what Magazine covers, billboards and Whenever you find yourself focusing on it needs. It is usually something adverts are almost never a true something you dislike about your body, healthy: more sleep, nutritious representation of what the people counter the negative thought with a food or time away from the in them actually look like. Remind positive statement about the same screen. The more attuned you yourself that clever image editing thing. Write the positive statements become with your body, the is a huge part of what we think down and carry them with you. This will better you can pick up on those of as an ideal. Don't compare help you challenge negative thoughts if signals and look after yourself. yourself to a lie. and when they appear. 25 TRY OUT MINDFULNESS ENJOY YOUR BODY CHALLENGE THE MEDITATION Don't let negative self-image If you hear someone else speak For a few minutes each day, prevent you from doing the negatively and critically about their find a quiet spot, make yourself things you want to do. Whether body, try and think about why comfortable and focus your it's trying out a new hobby or they do it. Are they pursuing the attention on the physical wearing something you wouldn't "ideal body"? Who has decided sensations in your body. From normally choose to wear, remind what "ideal" looks like? Have they the tips of your toes to the top yourself that your body belongs internalised a negative self-image? of your head, become aware of to you. It is yours to enjoy and What would you tell them if they what it actually feels like to be in experience in whatever way asked you for help? Can you apply your body. makes you happy. this to your own situation? PRACTISE BODY CHOOSE TO LISTEN SEE YOUR BODY FOR THE NEUTRALITY TO POSITIVE PEOPLE AMAZING THING IT IS Try to perceive your body When we get used to being self- Remind yourself that your body neutrally, without preconceptions critical, it can be very easy to is not part of the decor. It is a of what you or anyone else automatically dismiss compliments, remarkable ecosystem that can do thinks it should or shouldn't look encouragement and support. Actively amazing things, such as extracting like. We are accustomed to choose to listen to and believe the nutrition from food and fighting being critical about our bodies people around you who give you infections. Appreciate everything that it can be hard to shake the positive affirmation. Surround yourself your body is capable of and habit. Practice this as much as with them and let their opinion matter remember that none of it is to do you need to. more than negative self-image. with looks. TAKE YOUR TIME Learning to be body positive is difficult. Like with any new skill, it takes time and practice. If you find yourself slipping into old habits of thinking and behaviour, be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that this is a process, forgive yourself and move on.</p><p>WHAT WE believe ABOUT OURSELVES Let go of limitations and believe in your own abilities Our belief system is formed of all our assumptions and convictions. It shapes "APPRECIATE EVERYTHING how we perceive and experience the world, how we feel about ourselves and how we act because of those feelings. YOUR BODY IS CAPABLE Sometimes, we hold self-limiting or self=. defeating beliefs. Those are negative convictions about ourselves which we OF AND REMEMBER THAT have accepted as universal truths and which often hold us back. For example, 26 you might believe that you are never OF IT IS TO DO quite good enough and that any little mistake you make or imperfection you have makes you a less worthy person. WITH LOOKS". Because of this belief, you may put off important fearing that you will not be able to complete them as well as you would like to. You may avoid</p><p>trying something new altogether example, if you believe you are because of the damaging negative incapable of something, try to self-belief and not because of your form the belief that you are able actual abilities. to learn. Expand your belief To challenge your self-limiting system that it lets you attempt beliefs, recognise them for what something, even if you might they are. Try to be honest and not immediately succeed. Most objective about the extent of the importantly, remember to be kind belief and how it has impacted. and patient with yourself. We tend you. Replace "am" with "feel" (e.g. to judge ourselves much more CHANGE "I feel incapable" rather than "I than we would ever judge am incapable") to remind yourself another person. Think about how these beliefs are not facts that are you would support and encourage YOUR set in stone, Form empowering a friend who struggles, with beliefs in order to replace the negative self-beliefs and turn that negative, limiting ones - these positive affirmation inwards. Be NEGATIVE will help you move forward: For your.own best friend. BELIEFS Write down everything that you Tips on working love about yourself through negative self-beliefs NOTICE THEM Negative self-beliefs can be internalised and very hard to notice or change. When you are acting because of a conviction you hold about yourself, try to step back and focus your awareness on the source of that conviction. Are you making a genuine honest assessment of your abilities, or are you accepting something without questioning it? CHALLENGE THEM Now ask a family member or your best friend Don't let negative beliefs fester. Once you recognise them, try to to write down everything that they love approach them objectively and replace them with empowering about you on a separate bit of paper. Were beliefs. Look for evidence that your lists different? Write down what runs contrary to your self-limiting beliefs and take note. You are more surprised you the most. capable than you give yourself credit for. Raise your own awareness of that in order to chip away at the negative belief. TURN IT AROUND Beliefs based on plenty of evidence are more durable than those we simply acquire. Once you have challenged your negative and limiting beliefs, keep showing yourself your own capabilities. Start slowly when attempting something new and celebrate each success, no matter how small. With time and practice, your negative self- belief will be replaced by genuine confidence in yourself.</p><p>AFFIRMATIONS TO LIVE BY Positive affirmations can help us to feel happier and inspire us to be our best self. Try to live by these affirmations and write down some of your own too. Remember to keep them completely positive. / am doing what / / am free to make the choices that love and / am happy. feel right for me and / have the power to create the life / want. wake up every day with a positive attitude and open mind. / am open to receiving and embracing everything that desire. / deserve the very best that life has to offer. give myself permission to dream big and without limitations.</p><p>SAY IT, BELIEVE IT Affirmations are positive statements that when my AFFIRMATION: repeated often, can help you to challenge self- destructive thoughts. my AFFIRMATION: my AFFIRMATION:</p><p>WHAT EVEN IS ANXIETY 30 DEPRESSION? And how can you tell the difference between mental health issues and teenage angst? oth depression and anxiety are in three will meet the criteria for an the triggers for those issues in later common and very treatable anxiety disorder, and the reason that life will be very similar to the triggers illnesses that many adults will these numbers are high is in part of those feelings as an adolescent suffer from at some point due to the fear of symptoms being (feeling isolated from other people, in their lives. The common dismissed as a normal part of feeling that they are not achieving symptoms of both issues (low mood, being a teenager'. their best, feeling unattractive in low motivation, anxiety around people Depression is a mood disorder comparison to others). For this and so on) happen to be very familiar where the major symptom is a very reason, being able to recognise the feelings for most teenagers, which frequent low mood, even at times appearance of either depression or unfortunately means that either they when you would usually feel excited or anxiety is a useful skill, and can lead themselves, or the society around happy. Anxiety is a frequent sense of to a healthier life. It's also worth them, may mischaracterise the worry or danger about events that are remembering that dealing with any beginning of a serious mental health not in any way dangerous. You don't form of mental health issue isn't a issue as simply being 'teenage need to be in a permanent state of sign of weakness or lack of character, Statistically, one in seven teenagers either depression or anxiety to justify and to confront the issue rather than has a mood disorder that is closely getting help. If someone experiences ignore it (hoping it goes away) is one linked to depression, and nearly one depression or anxiety as a teenager, of the bravest things you can do.</p><p>UNDERSTANDING DEPRESSION AND ADOLESCENCE How does depression start, and can you change your thinking destinations? It should be stressed that seeking help the chemical state of being in a low do well on physics tests," compared or even talking to someone else should mood. If left unchecked, this to: "I did badly on a physics be a first port of call if you're worried can slowly start to feel test," it is likely you will about depression. Mindful meditation/ like the default state, have challenged the first thinking practices are useful tools, rather than an unusual sentence more than the but shouldn't be relied on as the only low point. From this SPEAKING second. You don't want way to get better. There's nothing perspective, mindful OUT your friend to feel that wrong with simply asking questions. thinking can be used After puberty, girls are they are fundamentally Depression often starts as to examine your twice as likely as boys to report a mood disorder hopeless at anything. a cycle of consistent negative thoughts that usually But if you were having 32 thoughts (sometimes about pass without being the same thought about yourself), which become checked. If you heard a yourself, what would you say? frequent that your brain friend saying: "I am hopeless You would probably be much becomes used to at physics, which is why I will never harsher on yourself.</p><p>"ALLOW YOUR BODY AND TO STAY CENTRED, AND FOCUS on NOTHING in PARTICULAR" and then my test scores will improve," THINKING ABOUT instead. It reflects the same need, IT MINDFULLY acknowledges what you want to Consider the same thought in a mindful change, and is objectively true. It also state. Your mind is clear, you're focusing doesn't come with a negative emotion. on your breathing. Then the thought Remember to let the thought go in "I am hopeless at physics, which is a mindful state: allow your body and why I will never do well on physics mind to stay centred, and focus on REACHING 33 tests," floats to the top of your mind. nothing in particular. You can deal You examine the thought objectively. with the learning in a bit, but for Is it true? No. Instead, try: "I to now, just keep your mind as neutral OUT FOR do more work to understand physics, as you can. HELP REGARDING DEPRESSION It should be clear throughout this article that getting help, or even talking to someone else, should be a priority if you are worried about depression. Approaching the issue with mindful thinking can help, and often forms a part of therapy plans to combat depression, but there are lots of ways to approach the issue. Every professional mental health worker you will speak to will have also been a teenager, and they will have some idea of what you are going through. There is counselling available, as well as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), both of which are targeted towards young adults. There are also support groups, and you will find that there are probably more people you know who are dealing with this in secret than you realise. The best way to find out what is available is to search for teenage mental health services in your local area, and there will likely be several options for you to talk to someone.</p><p>DOES EVERYBODY GET Anxiety may be part of being a teenager, but you need to take care of yourself As with depression, it is important If you are in a mindful state and feel paralysed, and unable to even to emphasise that if you are worried your mind allows a negative thought start revision on that subject, because about anxiety, then you should seek to surface, try to look at it without you've already accepted you will fail some form of help. Mindful thinking an emotion attached. As an example, the task. can be a very useful method of dealing let's consider anxiety towards an Anxiety issues thrive on irrational with anxiety disorders, however it best upcoming test. If you let the thought feelings rather than rational facts. works when it is in conjunction with grow, it can go from 'I might fail this The rational fact is: if you work hard other therapies or services. test' to 'I will fail this test', and then at your revision, you will do better The way mindful thinking can to 'When I fail this test, the rest of on the test than if you don't. That help is due to the nature of anxious my life will be ruined, because of this is completely true, and completely 34 thoughts. A negative thought can failed test'. If you have let the thought free of emotion. It even allows for quickly escalate into something you grow unchecked, you are already the possibility that you might not are worried about, causing anxiety, preparing for certain failure, and it is do significantly better on your test, without being fully examined unlikely any work you do before the but it is certain that you won't do to see how likely or how true it is. test will be productive. You may even significantly worse. The benefit for taking the mindful, "ANXIETY ISSUES emotionless perspective is that you can only improve on where you are. However, like all THRIVE on IRRATIONAL skills, this takes practice. Taking the mindful perspective might not work immediately for you, FEELINGS RATHER THAN or be a single solution, but you should find that it helps you to approach your RATIONAL FACTS" tasks with a clearer and more objective outlook. GET SOME HELP UK Childline 0800 1111 Talking is important. Talk to an www.childline.org.uk Open 24/7 adult you trust or make a call Samaritans If you are struggling with depression or 116 123 anxiety it is important that you aren't www.samaritans.org suffering in silence. We encourage you to Open 24/7 talk to an adult that you trust, your doctor or even a teacher. If you don't have anyone US AND CANADA that you can turn to there are some Your Life Your Voice phonelines that you can call to talk to a 1800-448-3000 trained counsellor who will listen to you and www.yourlifeyourvoice.org sign-post you in the right direction to get Open 24/7 the support that you need.</p><p>s 36</p><p>AN EMOTIONAL 37 BOILER Trying to hide your emotions from yourself can create more problems than solutions ealing with emotions and with an irritating teacher), and there are D how they change is far more times when you should consider telling complicated as an adult than it is the such as when your older as a child. When you're a child, sibling is deliberately annoying you. It is you have very limited control over not possible to hide feelings indefinitely, the situations you find .yourself in, the especially when they are re-ignited you feel are often out of your regularly. Any negative emotion will hands. As an adult, you expected eventually push its way out, like steam to control both the events in your life from a as well as your emotional responses to Emotions are also tightly tied into them. Being a teenager is the midway relationships, both the ones that have point, where you have some control over lasted years and the new ones you are your life (but not complete control), and going to make. It's worth remembering you are also expected to fully control that anyone you come into contact with your emotions. on daily basis has a relationship with You might also feel that you need to you - and it will either be a positive hide your emotions in a way that you one or a negative one. Relationships are didn't before. Sometimes this is based dependent on the emotional state of the on societal expectations (pouting when people involved in them, and when one you are disappointed is less person is highly charged emotionally, acceptable as an adult!). Hiding maintaining that relationship can be a our feelings is also used as a challenge for everyone involved. Mindful self-defence mechanism, but thinking can provide a relief from those that doesn't mean it is healthy. emótions, as well as help with deciding There are times when it is whether or not to hide them, or how appropriate to hide your to release them in a way that is more feelings (such as dealing positive than negative.</p><p>PROCESSING YOUR BUILT-UP EMOTIONS mindful thinking can be a healthy way of working through unpleasant feelings that have built up Processing strong emotions can be difficult to stop the outflow of feelings. This is a very start to focus on your breathing. even as an adult (partly because the brain common approach, but eventually that dam Think about your breath flowing in doesn't stop developing until the mid-20s for will have to burst under the pressure, and out of your body for a few most people), but it is usually even Ultimately, it's much better to be in Imagine it as it fills up your lungs, and then tougher as a teenager. While control of how the pressure is let it go. Thoughts will start to appear, and emotions can sometimes be released, which is where mindful you can examine them without letting 38 EMOTIONAL thinking can help the emotion that accompanies the thought pushed aside, this isn't a solution that can work First, make some time to take hold. Simply acknowledge the ROLLERCOASTER indefinitely. The common process. If you haven't then visualise yourself letting it go, like a leaf Dealing with your emotions term for this is examined what you've been on the wind. gets easier as you get and it describes older. By the end of your feeling recently, it's After you've been in this state for a while, the strain and stress of teens, you will feel more a good idea to be somewhere and you're used to recognising thoughts and stable than at the start. building up emotional where you can be at peace for releasing them, start to think about what thoughts without dealing with some time. This might not even you've been storing away. What is behind that them properly. Sometimes there be in your home, but somewhere emotional dam? Perhaps visualise turning on can be much held back that you're where you know you won't be bothered, a tap, and watching the emotional energy not dealing with (or perhaps even with your phone on silent for an hour or start to trickle through. Think about why the acknowledging) that it feels like a dam, and if Now it's time to get into a mindful state. Make emotion is there, but not how it feels. Try to you start to release it then you won't be able yourself comfortable. Close your eyes, and stay detached from the feeling, and just think about the emotion and the thing that put it "ACKNOWLEDGE THE there. Is it something you can change? What would you need to do to change it? If not, is there any benefit to worrying about it? Are THOUGHT, THEN VISUALISE there better ways of approaching the situation? And once you've asked these questions, visualise the cause of your YOURSELF LETTING IT GO" emotional build-up written on a Then let the leaf go. HANDLING YOUR URGES Your body can feel under someone else's control, but you need to deal with this responsibly Speaking bluntly, being a teenager you should be aware of is that no one Mindful thinking can be used to help usually involves urges of a sexual nature else is obligated to deal with them. This clear your head, and help you to keep at some point, and this is a normal part can feel frustrating when you are perspective of what is really important of the body growing up. These feelings approaching sexual maturity, but these to you right now. This is a challenging can be dealt with in a number of ways, urges are something that you will have mindset, but the aim is to stop these but the first thing you really need to to control when you are a full adult, urges from distracting you when at know is that there is nothing wrong it's worth learning how to control them school or work, and consider them with having them. The second thing at this stage in life. when you are in a more private place.</p><p>39 LEARN TO TALK ABOUT IT Talking now saves shouting later Good communication is a skill that you will use for the rest of your life, and it can really help you to deal with the stress of being a teenager. The best way to practise this skill is to know what you want to say before you say it, and this can be discovered using mindful thinking. Remember, you want to communicate what you think, not just how you feel. Practise on smaller things, if you have issues communicating with friends and family. Even speaking about something mundane like what you're excited about at the weekend, or what has been causing you stress recently can help. And remember, it is always better to deal with an issue by talking rather than by shouting, when it's a good time to talk to the other person, do Use mindful thinking to know exactly what you want to say, in a way that doesn't let you escalate your emotions until you feel unhappy.</p><p>40 FRIENDSHIPS AND LOVE Society has some ideas on teenage romance - and a good idea to forget them! The way we feel about friends can change a Hopefully, reading this sentence has helped crush or partner has to solve (when really they lot. It's possible that people you are friends you to realise that this is complete nonsense are your responsibility) is not good behaviour. with are also the people you start to have - no one is un-loveable, and being a teenager Mindful thinking can help you to approach your romantic feelings for, which can be a stressful is stressful, which will make your emotions own emotional state in a way that will minimise realisation. Without the knowledge about how 'feel' worse than they are. It's worth holding the emotional fallout. Remember that when in you will feel when you are an adult, feelings of onto those two facts, because being a a mindful state you only acknowledge the romantic love can be more intense, or feel all teenager is a lengthy thought, not the feeling. Look at it with a sense the more 'real' as a teenager. Society also All of these feelings, whether inspired by of neutrality, then let the thought go. When reinforces those feelings as being akin to 'true romantic or unrequited love, can make your you've practiced being in this state, perhaps love (and have done as far back as Romeo and friendships more complicated, and it's always interrogate the thought a little - what can you Juliet), when in .fact the majority of people do better to keep intact, unless they do to change the situation, if anything? If not marry their teenage-romance, or even the are damaging to you. Remember that your there's nothing, it's worth letting the thought first person they consider to be with. feelings may be heightened, but they do not go in the certain knowledge that you will feel Unrequited love (being attracted. to control anyone else's feelings or behaviour, differently soon. The only way you can still be someone who doesn't feel the same way and you are the person who has to deal with affected by your feelings is if you refuse to let towards you) can be one of the most them. Making your a problem that your them go. unpleasant sources of unpleasant What makes it feel all the worse as a teenager is the uncertainty you may also have over who "IT'S BETTER TO KEEP you really are as a person, and these two combined can lead you to feel that you are fundamentally un-loveable to anyone! FRIENDSHIPS INTACT"</p><p>WHO MEANS THE MOST TO YOU? Take a moment to think about who your best friends are, or who in your life means the most to you. What do they add to your life? Name: Relationship: Why are they important to you? Name: Relationship: Why are they important to you? Name: Relationship: Why are they important to you? TIP You might want to keep this to yourself, but think about showing the people that you noted down how much they mean to you. Or tell them, and practise sharing your emotions next time you see or speak to them.</p><p>"ONCE YOU REALISE YOU ARE in AN ARGUMENT, IT FEELS IMPOSSIBLE TO LEAVE IT" 42</p><p>HOW TO HANDLE YOUR FAMILY Both being and living with a teenager is intensely stressful for both parties If being a teenager is the most stressful thing argument, it feels impossible to leave it. family you are having the particular in the world, the second most stressful thing That's why it is important to try to get into a disagreement with. is probably living with one. This isn't mindful meditative state on your own if you Think about who they are to you, and what your fault, but it's something want to process these feelings in a kind of connection or relationship you have. that you may not appreciate different way. Stay in a neutral state if you can. If something until you are considerably ANCIENT If you know something has upset rises that will make you feel visualise older. Living with you, make time to think about it the thought on a leaf held by the tips of your TEENS someone whose mood is later on, when you are on your fingers, Read the thought, then let the leaf People have been moaning constantly readjusting own (schedule an alarm if about teenagers since and dismiss it. Once you've done this a can be a challenge, and Ancient Greece, it's necessary!). Sit in a way that is few times, perhaps with the same thought, it's one that many always been a difficult state to be in! "comfortable, and close your think about what they are feeling, again families sometimes eyes. As always, focus on your without any of the emotional responses like struggle with. This can lead breathing, or the sensation at the anger or guilt. You have a limited ability to to arguments or full-on tips of your fingers. When change how they it's best to focus 43 shouting matches, which isn't good thoughts intrude; simply acknowledge them on how you can handle the issue, neutrally. What is perhaps most frustrating is that and release them, without feeling the After doing this a few times, hopefully you'll you are still learning the language to describe emotion that the thought has triggered. After be in a place where the thought of your family how you feel, and trying to tell other people you've been in this state for a few minutes, let member doesn't automatically raise those exactly what you are feeling is a challenge. your mind drift over to the member of the negative feelings. While some think this is an inevitable part of growing up, many feel that these situations can be ideally avoided, at least on most occasions. WHEN YOU LOSE CONTROL Approaching this type of situation can feel tough, because once you realise you are in an What happens during a meltdown and how you can avoid it WHAT IS A thought and what type of emotion WHAT ARE THE CAUSES? it provokes, and how intensely it feels (without taking on the A meltdown simply means your emotional state). emotions are out of control, and you may say things that you later regret HOW TO LET to your family, friends or co-workers. OFF STEAM WHAT IS GOING on WHEN One method is mindful thinking, IT HAPPENS? but there are other ways, such as exercising, relaxing with a show you Your emotions feel more intense like, or venting about it to friends. now than they will do as an adult, Perhaps even make plans for your which means situations that life beyond the place you're living shouldn't upset you too much will right now. upset you greatly. The emotion over- spills and suddenly you can't control WHAT HELPS YOU? what you've said. You might feel that you have said LEARN TO NOTICE something you can never take back, but in truth most adults know YOUR TRIGGERS exactly what you are experiencing, Most adults don't know how to do and will forgive you. If you can talk this properly, it isn't an easy to the person afterwards (after the thing to do. The best way to do this right amount of time has passed) is with mindful thinking. Consider and try to clear the air, then try to the situation and assess each explain why you had a meltdown.</p><p>THE STRESS CANISTER Empty everything that is in your head concerning work, study and home life into your stress canister below Write everything inside the can Everyone has varying tolerances to stress. Think about how full your stress canister is. Is there much space left? Visualise the pressure building inside the can as you add to it. Some people are able to cope with more than others. Having the ability to cope with less at once isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just means that you probably need more support and positive coping strategies, like mindful activities, to stay on top of them.</p><p>Now pretend you are using the spray canister to do some art here. Draw what that would look like. WILL OF THESE STRESSES MATTER A YEAR FROM now? WHAT CAN I CHANGE? WHAT CAN'T I CHANGE AND NEED TO ACCEPT? CAN ANYONE HELP ME? WHAT ARE SOME OF my UNHELPFUL COPING STRATEGIES? WHAT ARE SOME OF my HELPFUL COPING STRATEGIES?</p><p>CHANGING YOUR THOUGHTS Write down some negative thoughts that you have, then think of positive thoughts that you could have instead NEGATIVE POSITIVE NEGATIVE POSITIVE NEGATIVE POSITIVE NEGATIVE POSITIVE</p><p>RECOGNISE THE GOOD STUFF Write down the things, people and places that you adore TWO PEOPLE YOU CAN COUNT on FOR WARM HUGS AND KIND WORDS: ONE THING THAT'S GOING WELL RIGHT now: ONE THING THAT YOU'VE WORKED HARD TO ACHIEVE: TWO THINGS THAT YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT: THREE THINGS THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO:</p><p>BUILD YOUR BULLY 48 BARRIER bullying is something no one should have to deal with. addition to asking for help to get it to stop, you can also help yourself deal with the anxiety it causes eing on the receiving end of Alongside this, there are things you bullying is something that can can do to help with anxiety, build happen to anyone at any age, resilience and reduce the chances of but as a teenager it can feel being a target (although it is important particularly overwhelming and to stress that being bullied is not your negatively affect your life. It doesn't fault and no one should feel forced to have to ruin or define it though, change their appearance or who as many previously bullied they are for it to stop). celebrities have gone on to prove. HOW TO CALM SHOCKING Rapper Eminem YOUR MIND used his experience STATISTICS Mindfulness and self- More than half of 11 to 16 year of physical bullying as olds in the UK have been awareness are key tools, song inspiration and bullied over their appearance, as experienced counsellor has been quoted as with 40% targeted at least and trainer Pauline Couch once a week. saying: "Even the biggest explains. Her organisation, of stars have gone through Step4ward, specialises in bullying and survived it and, working with young people over furthermore, have come out on top issues including bullying. "When - can you." faced with a situation of bullying, Surviving it doesn't mean just putting our fight or flight state can get stuck up and shutting up, however. In fact, it between flight (escaping) and not is essential to let someone know what's knowing how to fight or what to say going on (see the box on the next or do. This results in a state of obvious spread called 'Don't suffer in anxiety and stress, which in turn</p><p>"SURVIVING IT DOESN'T MEAN JUST PUTTING UP AND SHUTTING UP" 49</p><p>'feeds' the bully's desire for a reaction. Being able to get into a state of "DISTRACT YOURSELF WITH relaxation quickly can reduce the panic considerably. Practising mindfulness and exercises like positive belly breathing POSITIVE THINGS THAT (which enables more oxygen to enter the brain), even when not being threatened, will help the victim switch UPLIFT AND CALM YOU" states at the time of any incidences. "Focusing on internal senses, such as and go, recognising that they might numb or block out feelings. If you are breathing, can also help break the cycle be negative or distressing, but always already doing any of these, be sure to of upsetting thoughts after a distressing returning your focus to the object and seek specific help to break the cycle. experience," says Pauline Couch. present moment. Do this for a few If not eating due to anxiety is an minutes at a time." issue, try a mindfulness technique SWITCH THE FOCUS You can also distract yourself with before meal times to settle your Keeping a journal or writing positive things and places stomach. If eating too much for comfort down thoughts and that uplift and calm you, is an issue, explore alternative ways of feelings can be a helpful in THE like a creative activity or self-soothing, like watching a funny film way of dealing with CLASSROOM stroking a pet. Don't shut or having a bath. them. But when you've yourself away and become Young people bullied in done that, try to the last year report that isolated. When your world SLEEP IS SOUND 50 change your focus. classmates are most likely to feels like it is shrinking, Without enough sleep, everything London-based bully them, at with 10% saying the bully is someone bullies can take on a much feels worse, and your ability to cope chartered clinical they only know online. greater significance. is affected. Distressing thoughts and psychologist Doctor anxiety will affect your ability to fall Abigael San regularly uses BECAUSE YOU'RE asleep. It can be tempting to end up mindful awareness techniques WORTH IT doing lots of late-night browsing on with clients, and suggests a basic Bullies can leave their victims feeling social media as a result, but that won't distancing exercise: "Choose an worthless, but you're far from that; the help you to switch off. object; something easily accessible problem lies within them, not you. Don't Unwinding can be particularly difficult like a stone or a pen, rather than a allow their words or actions to affect if you are experiencing bullying via special belonging you might not the basics you need to stay healthy. social media and are on constant alert. always have around. Focus on it, Guard against the trap of falling into "Many young clients tell me they noticing how it looks and feels in your seriously damaging habits, such as cannot turn their phone off at night hand. Allow other thoughts to come using drugs, alcohol or self-harming to 'in case it's my friend contacting me', reports counsellor Pauline Couch. "This is a way of thinking that a bully will be aware of and may exploit by targeting someone at their most vulnerable, in a place they usually feel safe. Even if this doesn't apply, it is healthy to set boundaries around checking texts and social media accounts." STAND TALL Feeling scared and intimidated naturally makes us want to shrink into a small ball in the corner of a room, but standing tall and appearing confident (even if we don't feel it) makes a big difference. If this is something you find difficult, you could consider self-defence classes - not to learn how to beat up the bullies (as appealing as the fantasy may be!), but to improve the way you feel and to hold yourself. Exercise is also a fantastic way to deal with stress, and certainly worth trying before mindfulness exercises, particularly if you find it difficult to sit still. Anything counts: walking, cycling,</p><p>a team sport, even doing stretches at home. TALK IT THROUGH DON'T SUFFER Besides telling someone what is going on, talking things through with a trained in SILENCE professional can be worthwhile. Most schools now have in-house counselling services where students Talking to someone about being bullied might can refer themselves. If the bullying takes place in school, you might prefer feel almost as tough as dealing with the to see a counsellor in a different environment, such as a specialist youth bullying itself, but essential service, MIND, Relate or a private practice counsellor. Even if you feel it will be upsetting or practical advice, including how to deal "I've noticed that when young embarrassing, don't let that, or any with different forms of online bullying people come for counselling out of threats about speaking out, stop you. and an under 18's helpline: 0800 1111. school uniform, their demeanour and You could practise what you need to confidence is often quite different and say or even write it down if you find Nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk can help the process," adds Pauline. that useful as a first step. can be contacted on 0845 2255 787, Who you tell will depend on who you Monday-Friday, 9am to 5pm, and is HOW MINDFULNESS CAN feel most comfortable with - it could 51 aimed at both young people and BETTER THE BULLIES be a teacher, parent, another relative their parents. Mindfulness techniques are seen as or maybe someone who leads a group helpful in reducing incidents of bullying you belong to. If you don't get the Giveusashout provides a crisis text as well as helping those who are bullied. response or the help you hoped for, support service for all ages - Research into bullying behaviour shows choose someone else and carry on until text Shout to 85258. it is generally done impulsively, while you do. If you need help with this, in bullies lack understanding and/or caring addition to advice on dealing with US AND CANADA for how they affect others. Mindfulness bullying, there are numerous 1-800-668-6868 is a great tool for combating this. organisations that are set up to provide Canada Kids Help Phoneline MindUP is a training programme that, some with helplines or text based on mindful awareness, positive services to contact in a crisis. If you 1-800-399-PEER psychology and neuroscience, which ever feel in immediate, serious danger Peer listening line for those under 25 has been taught in 350 schools across you should call 999 (UK) or 911 (US). years old. the US and more than 150 in the UK. The programme has been shown to UK 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK improve students' self-control, reduce Ditchthelabel.org is an international (8255) conflict between students, and anti-bullying charity offering online help strengthen resiliency. via digital mentors and a support Teen Line "By teaching the concepts of forum. You can also call them on 01273 teenlineonline.org/talk-now gratitude, empathy and connection, we 201129 between 9am to 5.30pm, 310-855-HOPE or 800-TLC-TEEN are better able to understand and share Monday to Friday. the feelings of one another," explains 1-800-442-HOPE MindUP's assistant director of education Actagainstbullying.org is a National Youth Crisis Hotline for partnerships in the US, Mika Jain. registered charity set up by the parent crisis intervention and school tip line A small study carried out in of a bullied child. It offers lots of advice for reporting weapons or Cleveland found that after attending for teenagers - you can also email homicidal remarks. an eight-week course of mindfulness them at classes based on the MindUP info@actagainstbullying.org 1-800-999-9999 programme, pupils who had been Covenant House NineLine dealing with bullying other students showed Antibullyingpro.com has an online crisis intervention and angry feelings. increased empathy and had better support centre and offers a 24/7 crisis control of their emotions. messenger service for young people in 1-800-784-2433 In another study, introducing two the UK - text DA to 85258. National Hopeline connects caller to a short sessions of meditation into a Childline.org.uk has some great 24-hour crisis center in their area. San Francisco school known for its issues with violence, reduced behaviour problems and aggression, and led to a 75% decrease in the number of suspensions.</p><p>"EXCESSIVE SOCIAL MEDIA USE CAN BE CORRELATED WITH MOOD SWINGS, ANXIETY OR EVEN DEPRESSIVE 52 SYMPTOMS" ***** ****</p><p>LIVING WITHOUT 53 PHONE USE We use technology so much over a single day, but is it healthy? our mobile phone may feel like really questioning it, especially the over- y the single item that you cannot use of social media. Social media use leave your home without, or has been reported as being as high as when it is lost it feels like a part two hours a day for many teenagers, of you has gone missing. The which naturally is a large chunk of reason for this is that over the last 20 someone's free time. Excessive social years, phone companies have refined media use can be correlated with mood the technology that it will not swings, anxiety or even depressive only do more things than a symptoms. While social media standard computer, but it is may not be the only factor pocket-sized and doesn't BUY at play, it is certainly a need a constant power YOURSELF A significant input. This is supply. This makes a NOTEPAD AND PEN because many people's mobile phone a very social media profiles If you need to do useful tool, but it is something that must be represent an idealised considered 'vital' for done on your phone, write version of their lives, a reminder to do it later. many people, who use the meaning onlookers might phone as a way of directing feel inferior by comparison. their attention (with social Like anything new, media feeds), even when they are the sensible thing to do is to not not doing a phone task (texting/calling). over-indulge. Over the next two Rather than simply being an all-purpose pages are several mindful ways to put tool that is handy to keep on you, your your phone down, and expand your phone becomes the thing constantly life beyond it. They can even be seen taking up your attention, and many of as therapeutic, and help you to round us have allowed this to happen without yourself out as a person.</p>